It seems that Spring weather is upon us, and that’s meant a lot more playing outside. Darwin gets very excited to play with all the kids around the way, who conveniently seem to congregate around my yard and driveway. Along with the warm weather has come a new trampoline which has been a big hit with the kids, and especially Darwin. He’s asked for it about 50 times now at random times over the last few days.

I thought he would be a bit more hesitant at first, but he basically got right up in the mix with all the other kids on the first day, which was great. I love getting to see him interact with other kids. It generally makes me very happy, but it also plants seeds of concern.

For example, the kids decided to play ‘Duck, Duck, Goose’. Darwin observed what the kids were doing and followed a simple direction to have a seat in the circle. Then came the actual playing of the game. Eventually Darwin got tapped with “goose” and he just sat there. The kids explained further. Then, as a new player made the rounds, Darwin stood and followed around the circle with and endless loop of “duck, duck, duck, duck…”. At this point the game continued without Darwin. He was there, walking, chanting, smiling and bouncing. He probably felt just as much a part of the activities as he did in the beginning, but the kids all knew that from that moment on, Darwin was clearly not part of the actual game. Luckily all the kids around us have been pretty nice and tolerant of Darwin’s quirks. I’ve made a few simple attempts to explain to them that D has Autism and his behavior might seem a bit silly or weird sometimes. I implore them to just “be nice to him” and have patience. And generally speaking, they do.

But I see the looks. The looks they give Darwin, and the looks they give each other. That look that is saying “Yo, that is weird”. And I see the very slight frustration of having to ask 7 times for him to “throw the ball!” or something like that. This is all really small stuff among kids that are between 3 and 9 years old. No harm, no foul. But my concern comes when I consider these same situations happening with a kid or a group of kids that aren’t as shy or understanding. That day when Darwin’s unusual behavior is met with some name calling, or a shove, or worse. I know I might be jumping the gun, and I sure hope those things never happen. But they do happen, to lots of people, Autistic or not. My heart breaks at the thought of him being aware of some kind of ridicule or abuse. I also wonder how I would ever manage to stop myself from mauling any kid that I saw act violently toward my son.

Again, I’m ahead of myself. For now, he’s having a ball playing with these kids, and they seem to enjoy him as well. I have to let myself enjoy it, let Darwin enjoy it, and do my part to slowly educate the curious children around him. Who knows, maybe some of them will be his allies in the years to come.

(Source: evolvingwithautism.com)

I’m hesitant to even enter into this, but it’s hard for me to see misinformation being spread to innocent people looking for answers.

I just saw a post where someone asked “I see a lot of posts about Autism Speaks, mostly from people who are actually on the spectrum, complaining about the organization. Why is that?”

The first lie-filled paragraph of the response was “Firstly, they’re extremely anti-science. They seriously believe that autism is caused by vaccines, and they think it can be cured by ABA, chelation, veganism, a gluten-free diet…”

I don’t know either of these people and I have no connection to Autism Speaks. But the fact is, Autism Speaks makes their stance on vaccines very clear, and it couldn’t be more different than what was portrayed there.

As per this page, Autism Speaks has this view of vaccines: “Many studies have been conducted to determine if a link exists between vaccination and increased prevalence of autism, with particular attention to the measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine and those containing thimerosal. These studies have not found a link between vaccines and autism. We strongly encourage parents to have their children vaccinated, because this will protect them against serious diseases. It remains possible that, in rare cases, immunization might trigger the onset of autism symptoms in a child with an underlying medical or genetic condition. Autism Speaks is funding studies on the underlying biology of autism, including studies to better understand medical and genetic conditions that are associated with autism.”

So please, please, if you are looking for information about a medical condition (or pretty much anything), do proper research and do not get your answers from people on Tumblr.

It’s pretty obvious to most that I never intended to include religion as part of raising my son. Y’know, naming him Darwin and all. So why then is he so often found in this position?

I can’t be exactly sure, but it would seem that my young son worships socks. He loves them in a way that he doesn’t seem to love any other inanimate object. White socks, colored socks, short socks, tall socks. It also doesn’t always matter if the sock happens to be on a person or not. It’s not uncommon for me to be sitting at my desk when Darwin comes up to me, well, up to my foot really, and proclaims “it’s a sock!” as he moves in to caress and hug the sock on my foot.

Most often though, he’ll take a fresh sock from their normal place and lay it out flat, and then assume his position of adoration over it. The sheer weirdness of it all forces me to stop it before it goes on too long. I’ll give him a few minutes, but what kind pf parent would I be if I let my son spend large chunks of his childhood on the floor worshiping a sock!? He’ll actually go put the sock away himself and laugh about it the whole way. He doesn’t seem to mind ending the ritual, but before the day is through he’ll usually make his way back to the socks.

A few months ago I started showing Darwin a series of educational videos called “Special Kids”. One that he’s seen many times is all about “getting ready”. How to put on clothes and do all the mundane tasks that make up a normal day. I had already been working with him to put his own socks on, and I think the video really pushed him over the edge on that one. He started putting his sock on just fine. But I think all those camera angles of the foot and the sock planted some odd seed in his brain.

It’s never boring in the weird world of Darwin. I love this kid!

Potty training is one area of Darwin’s development that really concerns me. At 4 and a half years old, we’re still right where we started. He’ll sit on the potty with no problem and isn’t scared of it or anything, but he won’t go. It seems as though he’ll do anything in his power to hold it until he has a diaper on, or unfortunately, a pair of underwear. In fact I don’t think he’s ever gone on the potty even once. Not even by accident.

I just recently discovered this book online, but I was so turned off by the website for the book that I’ve been hesitant to purchase it. It was just a horrendous looking site with obvious misspellings right on the main page. Not a good sign when dealing with a literary work, y’know?

I’m not sure where to go next with this process. I haven’t tried the “spend the whole day in the bathroom” thing yet, and I’m not looking forward to it. But I guess it’s worth a shot.

There are a few foods that Darwin will always eat with absolutely no problem. There’s french toast, and… OK well there is at least one food that Darwin will always eat with absolutely no problem. He seems to like a variety of foods, but the actual process of picking it up and eating it doesn’t happen so effortlessly.

He generally has to be told to “take a bite” or “big bite, Darwin”, for each and every bite of most meals. While slightly annoying, it wasn’t the biggest problem until I was faced with the reality of Darwin needing to eat when I’m not around.

For his first year or so in school, he was in a morning class. He would come home after school and have lunch. Well, he was moved to an afternoon class (that I hate), where lunch is served during school. Most days his lunchbox is filled with a sandwich or bagel of some kind, a granola bar or some little snack, and his juice. And like clockwork, every day when I pick him up, his lunch is still there, pretty much untouched. Sometimes the juice and/or snack is gone, but often enough it’s all there.

I’ve mentioned to his teacher that he needs this extra attention and reminders to eat during lunchtime, but with all those kids in the room, who knows how much focus is being put on the one kid that won’t eat. I can’t imagine that someone is near him the whole time reminding him to take bite after bite like I do at home. And I know he’s not going to starve to death or anything, but jeez I want the kid to eat! There’s a bunch of hours between breakfast and his eventual after-school lunch and his little body has got to be feeling hungry.

I sometimes imagine that if I just disappeared or dropped dead while D was having lunch he would eventually starve to death with no one reminding him to actually eat his meal.

Among Darwin’s first words was the phrase “Black Sabbath”. I have music playing at home much of the time, and all the time in the car, so D gets exposed to a pretty wide variety of sounds. Like all of us, he seems to have his favorites. The Sabbath thing started during a phase when I was listening to the ‘Heaven and Hell’ album a whole bunch, and Darwin really seemed to enjoy it. In fact, he even started requesting it. And just to be sure, I tried to put on something else instead, even another Black Sabbath album. Nope, he was very specific. He wanted Heaven and Hell! I can’t tell you how happy and proud I was that my little son was into Dio-era Sabbath.

Currently, Darwin is seriously loving the new Black Keys album; ‘El Camino’. He asks for it pretty often, and I even use it as a tool to help out in difficult situations. If he starts to act up while we’re out, or he doesn’t want to leave a certain place, I just fire up his favorite track on my iPhone and like magic his attention turns to the music and he starts dancing toward me. By now I’ve seen him dance hundreds of times, but It still brings me the same joy every single time. The smile on his face is priceless and his moves are completely ridiculous.

Some of Darwin’s other favorite albums:

dredg / The Pariah, The Parrot, The Delusion

Pearl Jam / Backspacer

Minus The Bear / OMNI

He even attends Music Therapy every Saturday morning, and he really loves when I take him to my friends recording studio. This kid could have a bright musical future.

Darwin is often fascinated (and occasionally obsessed) with random little toys and objects. I passed down a significant collection of Hot Wheels to him and I’ve since expanded his collection with a few new cars and some neat Wall Tracks. He seems to enjoy playing with them pretty regularly, but lately he’s had a special attachment to this one little go-kart. Some days he’ll hold it and carry it from room to room, and usually just wants it sitting near him, even if he isn’t actively playing with it. When I clean up some toys that get scattered around throughout the day, he’ll go back into the box of cars and get that one out.

There’s easily over 100 cars here, but of course the one he’s chosen as his favorite is the only one that doesn’t fit like all the others. It’s smaller and lighter than the rest and has an bit of an unusual shape. It’s the one car that doesn’t really function properly in all of the standard track accessories.

Despite it’s apparent shortcomings, Darwin loves that funky little car.